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A blurb! A blurb! My kingdom for a blurb!

The blurb.  Is there anything so coveted yet so tainted in the publishing industry?  Those short, magical testimonials written by professionals and industry stalwarts and strategically placed on a book’s cover and Amazon’s detail page are the Viagra of the publishing industry.  They are sure to spice up your sales and pump up your ego.  And if your ego should remain inflated for more than four yours, the rest of the world can go fuck themselves because you got a goddamn blurb for your book.

Never mind that the blurb came from someone who probably didn’t read your book from cover to cover.  And forget the fact that the glowing blurb you got came with an unwritten contract that you will one day return the favor with an even more glowing blurb for their book that you won’t read cover to cover.  And above all, never mention that the person who provided you a blurb is a friend doing you a favor because that may suggest the praise is just a byproduct of your friendship.

Blurbs are sinister and vile and utterly glorious.  I would kill a cute bunny rabbit to have a back cover full of blurbs from people with more gravitas than I can ever hope to have.  And that, my friends, is the problem with blurbs.  Every author detests having to pursue them, but craves them like a hot piece of ass.

This video about the king of blurbs, Gary Shteyngart, is an interesting look at the world of blurbs, and the authors who love/hate them.

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